Discerning relations

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I’ve pondered the knowledge of Discernment.  I worked out ages ago that there’s a BIG difference between someone who has intent on being bloody mean for the sake of it, those who are ignorant and perhaps captured within some sort of learned hurtful bad habit and those who are just hurtfully lashing out in the moment, because they’re upset and need patience.  I think that is my slice of the knowledge of Discernment.

This discernment I’ve now got, has been formulated after years of good and plenty of bad experiences, sometimes in my face and now safely under my belt.  These days, I can usually (not always) discern either way between what is intent or someone hurt and upset.  If you haven’t got discernment as yet and especially if you’re high up on the Autistic Spectrum, then all relationships can be pretty tricky to say the least!  You’re going need guidelines and practice.  For sometimes what we are believing in each moment about a person could be false (or true) and the conclusions we might draw in either direction as yet may never ever actually be the other persons truth: Tricky!

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Oh and then there’s that thing when people show kindness.  I would love that and accept it all, but that I also believe there’s times when my gut instinct says “Hold on a sodin minute, what’s their motives?”  For yes it’s quite horrible to realise when someone is only being kind to draw something out of you.  To find what they can use against you.  If only I didn’t have to say “Beware beloveds, these people really do exist!”  The experience isn’t at all pleasant and can end up being very dangerous!  Believe me, I’ve taken ages to learn this one.  Still one latest episode in learning that lesson was fine, it taught me again to beware newbies!  Still, who doesn’t love kindness?  Again and again: Tricky!

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My advice is four fold:

  1. Go slow on forming relationships.
  2. Try not to be too open on first meeting new people or worry after you have been a bit super friendly.
  3. Keep somethings private and to yourself, even with your closest of friends and family, even with them.
  4. Don’t be too open to those who seem to care to know things about you, yet are not open to you and please try not to worry after you have been open (the past has passed and you cannot change it via worry).

Sometimes it can’t be helped, you need to tell someone something in order to keep things running smoothly, but beware!  Closed book people with their own trust issues, might try to elicit information from you saying they care.  This usually ends up them thinking they have something on you and when they do, some will use the information straight away to upset you and anyone around you who is willing and silly enough to get on board.  It’s not you when this happens, remember it is them and their issues.

If you can, do this A.S.A.P. and learn who is who and how to: Discern!

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