Posh nosh

When I bake bread, I like to add things to the mix to make the bread more wholesome e.g. sunflower kernels or something like Alesto Super Seed Mix from Lidl. Occasionally though, I might add something strange and act like a Mrs Letitia Cropley. When I buy bread though, I like to go for the seeded loaves for the goodness content asI ‘az godda keep meez ‘ealfy innit”. NOT granary though, no way JosΓ©, as I want to keep my teeth thanks. I’ll usually buy something at least nutrient-rich and perhaps wholemeal for a better shelf life.

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However, I went all posh nosh yesterday and bought a 36p white sliced loaf from Lidl, especially to create delicately sliced cucumber sarnies. They have to be with the crusts off and arranged in little dainty, bitesize squares or triangles. Yes, I know all about how white bread if eaten on a regular basis, is really not good for you and has very little wholesomeness, but “High Tea” dictates white bread, surely? And yes, I know there’s a just as cheap sliced wholemeal loaf there in Lidl too, but like I just knew posh nosh doesn’t do healthy that often. Posh is all for show.

High tea / Afternoon tea always reminds me of being a small child on a summers day, sarnies and mixing an Angel Delight in the garden and playing tea parties. Admittedly, yesterday I also had grated carrot on the side of the sarnies, so that was not so posh, but there yer go. Thing is, what is more quintessentially British summertime eating, than an elegant cucumber Ritz style sarnie? Perhaps, maybe to be really lavish, it would include mini pastries, little tinsy scones, thumbprint jam cookies, single fresh strawberries (sliced in half from top to bottom, but not through the stalk or sepal) and all presented on one of those three tier serving plate thingies in set of two diagonally. Oh and small fancy cakes too, as there has to be fancy cakes in a high tea surely?

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I remember my mother making petit four cakes for the bank manager’s dinner party (I got to licking the cake mix from the bowl using a spatula). Poor bloke, he once got his bits caught in the zipper of his suit and called mother to ask what he should do. Moving swiftly on, for another “Oh no!” as I just realised, when guests are allowed back into our homes, I will need to be welcoming, host like and that means I will indeed need nice cakes! Better get some practice in and oh yummy, I’ll get to lick the bowl too!

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