Sometimes people will say rude things at me and that’s often down to: Shit happens and I look like an easy target. Some words are widely held as hurtful and easily shrugged off, because I can tell that is all about them, not me!
Sometimes though, it’s people I like who say words, that in and of itself are NOT so hurtful, but I take the words on personally and find ’em HUGELY and deeply hurtful.
Here’s a thing though: When the dust settles, I might actually find something valuable to glean from such words (sheesh, not always). However, if I use a bit of wisdom, I’ll find a nice quiet place and question it all. When I do, I very often find some hidden truths, about what the heck is going on. Then I can feel differently about the why and wherefore of what they’ve said. Maybe and thankfully, it’s just someone showing me who they are and I need to believe them. Ultimately though, it might help me to see how the dynamic of a relationship is dreadful and how it needed that push come to a shove.
Maybe then it won’t just be me who learns from it all and as I back off, there’s a lesson learnt from consequences. Maybe my reactions will leave some long awaited, necessary feedback.
It might help others consider things they say and consider saying things differently. Who knows, they might just change what they say for the better or completely stop saying what the hell they like, when they like, to who they like… but I won’t count on it (lived long enough now not to count on other people questioning their words and actions, then changing). Maybe the best outcome, is that it could provide a basis for enlightenment all round.
So, there’s that. Oh my my, that’s a lot of “Maybe” and I can only really speak for myself and therefore need to mind my own business. For when we are in someone else’s business, who the heck is looking after our own? So anyways, I hope you can make sense of it and see how we all have choices to make. First option might be to stay within a relationship and thus enable the person who is hurtful, to carry on being hurtful and behave in ways that are not conducive to anyone’s happy life. Second option is easy and that is to back off. Third, Forth… Well then, you will know what to do, but only if you listen to you, keep hold of your moral compass and review all the evident feedback of: Who said what, how did it makes people feel (including yourself), the consequences and how it is working out from then on.
Over Soil 
A problem double doubled by bloody texts which, somehow, throw all grammatical conventions to the wind and are capable of being read in a million different ways. The only thing I would say is, ‘If you’ve got something hurtful to say, don’t bloody say it! Why even think about it? If you think it might be hurtful, it probably is. Keep it to yourself.’ Anyway, thanks again for another thoughtful post and whoever it is (God, I hope it’s not me!) ignore ’em. Coffee, chocolate and breathe…
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My son has the answer for such things, that when it gets to the tipping point, the person has to become a Non Playing Character. it’s a computer game thing, but I get it and it helps.
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Beloved Colin, I very much doubt you would ever willingly upset me, for am I not awesomeness personified in your eyes? {{{giggles}}}
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You are 😊
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“Lovely jubblies!” {{{GIGGLES}}}
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❤️❤️❤️
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Let’s just hit the chocolate
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