Champion kitchen

Enjoy the mishmash of British dialects abound, for it’s all about diversity and inclusion. Not keen on the “Correct” way of saying stuff, that’s best left to the history of television and having to speak the queen’s english “What what what“.

Photo by Pixabay on

So, in my mind (mine mind mind, not yourn), I say it’s not how much brass you pour into a kitchen of posh units and gadgets, that makes it good and ready t’go galley. I say it’s more about these things and sorry, but also rules.


  • Muppets welcome, but no pratting around near flames or sharp things.
  • Clean hands FFS and no nose pickin’.
  • A clear mind within the kitchen and try to stay content with what is.
  • If more folk arrive, they’ve got to play nice and not too much distracting chit chat until grub up.
  • No interloping peelie-wallies with their bugs and bogies!
  • Plenty of ingredients in the pantry for nosh, of tatos, carrots, neeps, flour, herbs…sourced ethically, local as poss’.
Photo by Viktoria Slowikowska on
  • No ketty, freekin’ body parts of sentient beings!
  • Mithering peedie breeks or narky teens to a min’ unless they’re ready to be helpful, be creative an’ learn sommat, inni’ though?
  • Nowt manky on surfaces, no minging left overs or cacky pots in’t sink.
  • Sorry, but no friggin’ kegs or breeks dryin’ on’t creel o’er owt.

To make that list become a really bonnie kitchen though, my personal fav’s, just add:

  • Some fresh flowers, dunna ha’e t’be owt special as such, things like some daisies in a repurposed egg cup ‘il do.
  • Bread cooking, especially the scent of a beremeal bannock on a stove top.

Okay, maybe this blog is addin’ a pinch of yorky and a soupçon of orcadian and did yer know that loadsa yorky words started out from Norse. So “Why eye up helly aa!”

Photo by Dagmara Dombrovska on

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