Recently I’ve had a neighbours dogs coming into the garden and digging. Well, I went out into the garden t’other day, to put some washing out. One of the two charged at me to challenge my Alpha, so of course I did a massive “RAaAARrRRrRR!!!” and threw this tiny bit of rain water, that’d gathered in a bowl close at hand. Both of them ran off, for of course I would defend myself damn it, in any way possible. However, it was a very unpleasant experience in what I want to be a peaceful forest garden.

Well, talk about hilarious audacity: A few evenings later, the owner came and chapped hard on my door. Not being sociable (pandemic an’ all) I answered through the upstairs window “Hello?”. Oh and here’s where it turns around so funny: She angry as hell, told me off for letting, nay encouraging her dogs into my garden. Man alive, this world is full of strange thoughts and one crazy thought had popped into her head for sure. Still, I told her I’d look on my CCTV for her dogs and seeing they weren’t there, I attempted to reassure her that her dogs weren’t in my garden (because they weren’t at the time and if nothing else, I’m known for my honesty) and she ended with “Thank you”.

After she left, I then scrolled back a few hours. There the two bugs were, I could see them earlier in the day having a field day, while I was oblivious at work. The CCTV showed them going totally bonkers trying to dig into my hen house (the hens in the run totally ignoring them and nonchalantly pecking and scratching the soil) . Anyways, as it was dark, I decided not to go out there, but to look in the garden the next day, to view the damage. The little bugs! They’d torn some of the wire next to the coop, not enough to get in, but still. There was paw prints everywhere, poop too. They’d made a huge hole next to the pond and another by the side of the path.

Photo by Chris F on

So, now I have a piece of bamboo next to the door that leads out to the garden and always take it me to put the washing out… As for humans, I’ve stepped up my security, by having a mortice lock put on the door that leads to the hallway passage between the house and the outbuildings, that leads from the front garden, into the back. Before there seemed no need. Anyone could and was welcome to pop through to go use the outside loo in an emergency, but not now, no, no, no way, nope! Anyways, the shiny new key is huge and that’s the price of my little bit o’ peace of mind when I am at work. The cats are left indoors. Nope, the key to a good neighbour is not left dangling on a piece of string, so cherry knocking is fine, but there’ll be no easy “Trespass” of humans, unless they go for “Breaking and Entering”, which at least I’d notice on my return.

Photo by Alexander Grigorian on

Talking of an ambush, here’s something I’ve been reminded of today, that was told to me years ago:

Tiger, as I recall it being whispered

Don’t worry, I’m not a frail person, my daughter has huge dogs that I’ve learnt how to be Alpha with and these unneighbourly little dogs are small fry.

5 thoughts on “Mortified

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.